“Adolescents are trying to figure out who they are. They try on different personalities sometimes. Some people never stop doing this.”

To wander slightly off topic, to make a point; The logical fallacy of monotheism is that a spiritual absolute would be that essence of sentience, from which life rises, not an ideal of wisdom and judgement from which it fell. More the new born, than the wise old man. More the light shining through the film, than the images on it.

The problem is that we all bundle that element of being and seeing under a multitude of lenses, voices, instincts, impulses, all bubbling up, which our mind sorts through.

When we are really involved with other people, the wires start getting crossed and we become flashes of them. Some people see the broader experience as organic love, while others, equally instinctively, see a need to dominate the relationship. Possibly because they are control freaks, or narcissists, or not particularly stable, or having been walked over themselves and not trusting others, etc.

One way I find to deal with this is to plug into your broader environment, until you learned to connect to anything, tools, coffee cups, books, etc. They become extensions of you, like your arm. This teaches you to also keep them in place and your place in them. Like riding a wave, you don’t control the wave, but you do keep your balance.

Love is free. Respect you have to earn.