I realized by my teens that I just wasn't going to have any real close friends, for various reasons, such as growing up in a farm life, in a largely suburban environment, so it occurred to me to just be one with the world around me. It really did open up a different aspect of reality, that has only grown ever more involved and deeper the older I get. Not that I'm not part of society, but being able to take it for what it is, rather than what I want it to be, changes the whole dynamic.