Over the course of my life, especially several times when I was young, I had the sense that it was the same sense of self, shining out through me, as someone else. Which is the concept I relate with God. So to place it in my model, it is that essence, bubbling up through life. Not only does it explain the altruism which we are able, but also the extreme selfishness, when we are separated from others and see them as the other. Along with many of the social dynamics, as we try to fit in among others and form groups and heirarchies.

So if I relate it to energy, which is also always and only present, its initial expression is desire and appetite, for the fuel to power that spark of being.

Which we then have to integrate into the world we find ourselves. So it seeks out the areas for expression, which are either like grass pushing up through cracks in the old, or being part of the larger culture and helping to push it.

Having been a younger child in a large family, my impulse has been to step back and see what is being missed and help by attending to it, or pointing it out. Obviously the more I stepped back, the more I saw, but the less I was part of the culture and that anyone listened to me.

Which sort of explains my sense of mission and way to express my sense of self.