That is an interesting experience and possibly as you say, an effect of your objective nature. Life is extremely complex and we only scratch the surface.
My own primary issue with the brain and consciousness is that I developed epilepsy at 29 and it certainly has given me reasons to explore the somewhat tattered edges of perception, as well as having to occasionally pick up the scattered pieces of my own being and re-assemble them again.
The anti seizure drug is effective, but I’ve had a tendency over the years to skimp on the dosage, because it makes me somewhat sedated.
The feeling of a seizure coming on is a bit like deja vu, as the thought process swirls around whatever spot/drain plug in the consciousness that it does. The effect is that I will get a strong sense of and memory of the prior seizure.
It is somewhat similar to the edge of sleep, but far more ominous. I like to just keep the mind moving forward, like a bicycle.
I’ve come to sense the only real difference between dreaming and awake is that our minds have to constantly react to outside stimulae, when we are awake. Since our minds are constantly constructing images of the world around us, being awake is much closer to a dream state, than really being objectively aware of our situation.
As we constantly react to the outside world, this image creation process is constantly having to reset itself and adapt. Yet when we are asleep, it doesn’t have to reset itself, so much as it just flows, from one image to what arises from it. It essentially starts writing its own narrative.
Which is a very powerful impulse. Consider that the more powerful people are, the less they are affected by their environment and the more they control it, so they really do start to “live the dream.” Consequently when they are really forced to confront a reality that don’t control, it is more of a problem and so they are more willing to find ways to avoid this, than is normal.
I’ve also come to feel that the division between other’s consciousness and our own is a bit like different parts of the brain that don’t quite connect. Like that thought, name, etc, that is just on the tip of the tongue, but can’t quite remember it, is somewhat like that other person trying to get your attention. We are all leaves on a bigger tree and focusing on only the distinct individual is like trying to understand anything out of its context. It’s “meaningless.”
Just some thoughts.
