That would be a very long list.
It does seem I've pushed the reset button on my nine lives a fair number of times. A few times in ways it just seemed like the tape was spliced. They pushed me back on this side.
A daughter of a cousin died some years ago and during the memorial up at the family farm, there was this upside-down rainbow hanging over it for like a half hour. It was like Reilly would not miss her own party.
The question is, what is consciousness?
As a child, I remember laying on the porch, watching this ant, when it stopped, like it sensed something. Then there was this tiny cone of awareness waving around with its antennae.
I've pretty much had that problem/situation my whole life, in seeing what are called auras. Though I heard a term some years ago, "floaters." That are dismissed as optical distortion, but are what I see when people are off in the distance, looking my direction. The dark spots. Sometimes I sense from people elsewhere. The classic heart shape is a floater, glowing slightly red, with a line going through it, pulling it toward me. Sort of like a thought bubble.
One of my main topics on Medium is the issue of time. As mobile organisms, this sentient interface our body has with its situation functions as a sequence of perceptions, in order to navigate, so our concept of time is the present going past to future, yet the evident reality is that activity and the resulting change turns future to past. Tomorrow becomes yesterday, because the earth turns.
There is no dimension of time, because the past is consumed by the present, to inform and drive it. Causality and conservation of energy. Cause become effect.
It's like a tapestry constantly being woven of strands being pulled from what was woven.
Energy is conserved, because it manifests this presence, creating time, temperature, pressure, color and sound, as frequencies and amplitudes, rates and degrees.
So the energy goes past to future, because the patterns it generated come and go, future to past. Energy drives the wave, the fluctuations rise and fall. No tiny strings necessary.
Consciousness also goes past to future, while the perceptions, emotions and thoughts giving it form and structure go future to past. Suggesting consciousness is a form of energy.
Science tends to have similar problem with energy, as with consciousness, in that it can only be described by the forms it manifests.
The digestive system processes the energy, feeding the flame, while the nervous system sorts the forms, information, signals from the noise, with the circulation system in the middle.
Consequently this intellectual obsession with information as primary. That if we build complex enough computers that they will be conscious.
Yet the fact is that consciousness has this love/hate relationship with form and structure. Building them up and breaking them down, as they become too confining.
So my experience is that we are just this thin layer of structure being pushed and pulled by these energies. The mind is not so much the source of consciousness, as it is the referee of all that bubbles up through us. The anarchies of desire versus the tyrannies of judgement.
I could go on, but consider galaxies are the energy radiating out, as structure coalesces in.
