What if we are looking at it backward, that mass is an effect of gravity, rather than gravity a property of mass?

Consider that gravity is basically a centripetal effect and when waves synchronize, the effect is centripetal. Lasers are synchronized light waves and the effect is certainly centripetal.

So say there is a synchronization going on across the entire spectrum of energy, from the barest bending of light, to the vortices at the center of galaxies. Then mass would be a reasonably stable, dense, intermediate stage, that is most appealing to our focused, object oriented, tactile sensibilities.

So we put "mass" at the center of our models and build out from there. Like we once put earth at the center of our cosmological models and built out from there.