You seem to want to get beyond desire, but don’t quite succeed.

We are that tension between desire and judgement. The heart and the head. Youth and age. Energy and form. Liberal and conservative. Motor and steering.

Even galaxies are energy radiating out, as form coalesces in.

What you seem to seek is the ideal, but it is the ideal that is flawed. We want some perfect state, yet that becomes a form and we need to transcend it. We want the cake and eat it too. It becomes more fuel for our fire.

Then we confuse the ideal with the absolute. Which is nothingness. The flatline between up and down. The black hole at the center, where all positive and negative forces sum out.

The opposite of the absolute is the infinite, so we fluctuate between everything canceling out and everything fading out. Nodes and networks.

The anarchy of desire and the tyranny of judgement.

So is there some ultimate state of awareness? Some spiritual absolute?Necessarily it would be that essence of sentience, from which we rise, rather than an ideal of wisdom and judgement, from which we fell. More the new born, than the wise old man. Consciousness seeking knowledge, than any form or brand of it. The light shining through the film, than the images on it.

Which would seem to point to some primal desire as the source, or at least the expression of this awareness.